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WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT BUYING PROPERTY IN THE VILLAGES, FLORIDA

At least one person in each home must be at least 55 yr old. You must be 19 or over to live in The Villages and then you may only stay 30 days. (there are some exceptions to both of these rules) ... (READ MORE)



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You've Got to LAUGH at This!

Chuckle #1 -->Walk With Me While I Age -->
A BEAUTIFUL POEM ABOUT GROWING OLDER
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RATS... I forgot the words.

Chuckle #2 -->A store that sells new husbands has opened in Melbourne, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs; She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids; 'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking; 'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework; 'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak; She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
PLEASE NOTE:To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street. The first floor has wives that love sex. The second floor has wives that love sex, have money and like beer. The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.


Chuckle #3 --> A guy was in a bar about as drunk as it's possible to get. A group of guys notice his condition and decide to be good Samaritans and take him home. First, they stand him up to get to his wallet so they can find out where he lives, but he keeps falling down. He falls down eight more times on the way to the car, each time with a real thud. After they get to his house, he falls down another four times getting him to the door. His wife comes to the door, and one guy says, "We brought your husband home." The wife asks, "Where's his wheelchair"?


Chuckle #4 --> "Highway to Hell" .......and a "Stairway to Heaven"​ ​.....Doesn't that make you wonder which way most of the traffic is headed ?​


Chuckle #5 --> Will I Live to see 85? (Here's something to think about.) I recently had to choose a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, she said I was doing fairly well for my age. (I am almost seventy). A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking her, 'Do you think I'll live to be 85?' She asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer, wine or hard liquor?' 'Oh no,' I replied. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!' Then she asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?' 'I said, 'Not much... My former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!' 'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, boating, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?' 'No, I don't,' I said. She asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?' 'No,' I said......... She looked at me and said, 'Then, why do you even care?

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Airport Full Body Scan Status Report
Finally, some useful facts are coming out about all of those airport full body scans! TSA disclosed the following Airport Screening Results 2017 Statistics On Airport Full Body Screening:
  • Terrorists Discovered 0
  • Transvestites 133
  • Hernias 1,485
  • Hemorrhoid Cases 3,172
  • Enlarged Prostates 8,249
  • Breast Implants 59,350
  • Natural Blondes 3
It was also discovered that 308 politicians had no balls.

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